MoodsAndColors

Black White Grey And Colours

In the morning assembly Principal is wishing students great success in the exams they are going to attempt shortly. She is also warning them against the use of any form of unfair means. “A friend who appears to help while cheating is in fact crippling you, making you a dependent forever. Be wary of such friends.” Golden words.

Despite being on the other side of the fence now the mere mention of exams gives me goosebumps. As if in dream I float back into the tunnel.

I am a little girl and my dad is telling me never to use any unfair means to get anything in life. Always be honest and seek the truth. I listen to him and his words are sown deep inside. Whatever he says has to be absolutely right beyond doubt because he is always right. He is the epitome of truth.

I float nearer. Tomorrow is my Economics exam. I am well prepared. I have an excellent teacher in school and she has clarified all my problems. All set for the battle the next day. Just then my neighbour comes and shows me a piece of paper. It has a set of questions which she claims are coming in next day's exam. I laugh the whole matter away. It's not a mere school test but The Board. Nevertheless just out of curiosity and to test my knowledge I sit down and solve the questions. Fairly easy I will be able to do it. Bah! The Board question paper! The girl must be out of her mind. 

After an eight hours long sleep I rush through the morning chores and off to Hansraj Model School. As I fight the pre exam sinking feeling I open the question paper with trembling hands. First question, second question, third question…Oh my God! The girl was right. How could that be? I am pale. I can’t concentrate. All I can see is utter darkness. All I can hear is “never use unfair means”. All I can think is, why to work so hard the whole year long if I were to take this easy way out. I tell myself repeatedly that I didn’t go for it. But then I shouldn’t have seen the paper when she said it was going to come in today’s paper. Whatever had to happen has happened. I can’tt help it anymore. Let me give it my best shot now. But its too late. Before I know the time has flown away. I am going to flunk. I haven’t been able to write any answer properly.

I am inconsolable. Nobody is able to understand why I am crying. Some friends are envious. In fact they are cursing me for not letting out the secret. If only I had known. Nobody will understand. I have let my dad down. He is not going to be proud of his girl.

 “Stand straight for the national anthem!”, the commanding voice reverts me back into the present with a thud. The classes are dispersed and students are running to their respective examination rooms. I have to check some question papers so I hurry to the front office.
As young persons there was only one truth, the absolute truth. There is never a doubt about the truth itself. Its only a question of following it or failing it. But not for long. The cracks bewilder you. As a young person it’s only the black or white that occupies your value system but later the greys occupy you. The worst part is that grey comes in various shades. This keeps you embroiled in a wide array of choices. Besides it also provides an escape route to justify many a dubious short cut, act and deed. In the end though, whatever choices we make the result is always in black and white.
 
In the season of colours its not fair to talk about black and white only. I wish everybody a very colourful and happy Holi. May your life be filled with colours of joy, happiness, love, growth and prosperity.
 
PostScript : For those of you who are curious about the result of that fateful exam, the next day the CBSE Board declared it a leak. The exam was conducted again in which I got highest marks in Economics in my school. I also got 29^th position in all India ranking.

2.3.07 21:06